[LAU] Close, but no cigar

David Jones gnome at hawaii.rr.com
Sat Apr 1 01:43:57 UTC 2017

On Mar 31, 2017 13:09, Will Godfrey <willgodfrey at musically.me.uk> wrote:
> There has been much argument as to whether a graphical interface is best with 
> independent windows, or with a single window (with or without tabs). Here in 
> the Yoshimi workshop, the only type of arguments we like are the startup CLI 
> ones! Therefore we've been working on a quite novel idea. 
> This came about when one of our team (who still uses a CRT monitor) found that 
> a cheap ionizer dramatically reduced the static discharges he kept getting. He 
> quickly realised that ionization could be used to control both static 
> attraction and repulsion. Thinking there must be an enhanced IT equivalent he 
> hacked up some software ionization code. 
> The idea actually worked. Damp down one window's positive charges and the 
> other's negative component and they'd immediately stick together - overlapping 
> (trying to balance their fields). He called this a 'Polarising Object 
> Stratifier'. Making the windows repel was a bit of a problem as they tended to 
> get a bit agressive and would fly right off the edges of the screen. 
> We were a bit surprised when Mary spoke up. 
>     "It's on a CRT right? So why not use an ion trap magnet?" 
> We didn't know she was old enough to remember them (nobody was brave enough to 
> ask her age). Then after a pause. "Everything else is software these days, so 
> why not a software IoT magnet?" She was on a roll now, and seeing the disbelief 
> on our faces, said, "Oh you wimps! Can't even sort out this P.O.S. I'll code it 
> myself with Ada." 
> What can I say? She built it, and it worked. However, the IoT magnet had to be 
> treated with care - it wouldn't do for it to interfere with other unrelated 
> systems. As the associated hardware was designed and built by most of the team 
> we decided to call it the Joint Unified Node Controller. 
> Things were going really well. Everyone thought putting P.O.S. code into IoT 
> J.U.N.C. was a great idea. With some fine tuning of both electrostatic and 
> magnetic fields in  windows, Bonded Ordinate Tracking 'nets' could be made to 
> attach to each other as a single blob, discretely slip under to work unseen, or 
> tuck themselves almost out of sight into the corners. They jiggled a bit - 
> rather adding to the charm. The PR and marketing departments were ecstatic. 
> That was yesterday. 
> Anyone remember the thunderstorm? We'll never forget it! There was a lightning 
> strike almost directly overhead. 
> We'd left the unit on test overnight and think all those finely balanced forces 
> were suddenly released, and at the same time the strength of the IoT magnet 
> must have increased by many orders of magnitude. Fortunately there was nobody 
> in the building. However, when we went in this morning, we were sorry to see 
> the kit had sort-of imploded. 
> That thunderstorm must have really been something. It seems to have taken out 
> our ISP for several hours, though he rang me around 2am ranting about something 
> called a zero day, and service denial. I told him I hadn't a clue what he was 
> talking about and that I was sure he'd sort out whatever his problem was during 
> the morning. 

Well, I think a cigar would make an interesting musical instrument/user interface. Especially if it was filled with magical, mystical herbs. ;)
David W. Jones
gnome at hawaii.rr.com
authenticity, honesty, community

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