[LAU] Close, but no cigar

Will Godfrey willgodfrey at musically.me.uk
Fri Mar 31 23:09:17 UTC 2017

There has been much argument as to whether a graphical interface is best with
independent windows, or with a single window (with or without tabs). Here in
the Yoshimi workshop, the only type of arguments we like are the startup CLI
ones! Therefore we've been working on a quite novel idea.

This came about when one of our team (who still uses a CRT monitor) found that
a cheap ionizer dramatically reduced the static discharges he kept getting. He
quickly realised that ionization could be used to control both static
attraction and repulsion. Thinking there must be an enhanced IT equivalent he
hacked up some software ionization code.

The idea actually worked. Damp down one window's positive charges and the
other's negative component and they'd immediately stick together - overlapping
(trying to balance their fields). He called this a 'Polarising Object
Stratifier'. Making the windows repel was a bit of a problem as they tended to
get a bit agressive and would fly right off the edges of the screen.

We were a bit surprised when Mary spoke up.
    "It's on a CRT right? So why not use an ion trap magnet?"
We didn't know she was old enough to remember them (nobody was brave enough to
ask her age). Then after a pause. "Everything else is software these days, so
why not a software IoT magnet?" She was on a roll now, and seeing the disbelief
on our faces, said, "Oh you wimps! Can't even sort out this P.O.S. I'll code it
myself with Ada."

What can I say? She built it, and it worked. However, the IoT magnet had to be
treated with care - it wouldn't do for it to interfere with other unrelated
systems. As the associated hardware was designed and built by most of the team
we decided to call it the Joint Unified Node Controller.

Things were going really well. Everyone thought putting P.O.S. code into IoT
J.U.N.C. was a great idea. With some fine tuning of both electrostatic and
magnetic fields in  windows, Bonded Ordinate Tracking 'nets' could be made to
attach to each other as a single blob, discretely slip under to work unseen, or
tuck themselves almost out of sight into the corners. They jiggled a bit -
rather adding to the charm. The PR and marketing departments were ecstatic.

That was yesterday.

Anyone remember the thunderstorm? We'll never forget it! There was a lightning
strike almost directly overhead.

We'd left the unit on test overnight and think all those finely balanced forces
were suddenly released, and at the same time the strength of the IoT magnet
must have increased by many orders of magnitude. Fortunately there was nobody
in the building. However, when we went in this morning, we were sorry to see
the kit had sort-of imploded.

That thunderstorm must have really been something. It seems to have taken out
our ISP for several hours, though he rang me around 2am ranting about something
called a zero day, and service denial. I told him I hadn't a clue what he was
talking about and that I was sure he'd sort out whatever his problem was during
the morning.

Will J Godfrey
Say you have a poem and I have a tune.
Exchange them and we can both have a poem, a tune, and a song.

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