Thanks for your comments Thorsten. They are again really constructive.

The laidback timing is too late at places, so the feeling
becomes sloppy, nerving, imho.

Indeed. I need to work on the rythm. I was in fact trying to give the drums a real feeling, by playing hydrogen from my keyboard. But, I'm out of rythm in some places. Also, I'm not sure what you mean by 'laidback timing', but what I think you mean is the first piano loop which has some blanks which last too long (1 out of 4)?

The lead tries hard to be dramatic.

I don't understand. You mean that the guitar tries to be sad?

But this has quite some potential.
I would straighten up the timing just a bit, shorten the
track aiming at 4 minutes, make the lead sound clearly
unlike a guitar and more smooth.

--
Thorsten Wilms

Thorwil's Design for Free Software:
http://thorwil.wordpress.com

I think it could remain at 6 minutes if I add some variations. In fact the whole thing is in 1 chord..I should add some chord variations, and not play the guitar solo loop 2 times. 1 should be enough. I like the guitar sound. I don't think I would change it. I agree on the point of straighten up the timing as said before.

Julien.
http://www.archive.org/details/TheTimelessClock