1 Nov
2009
1 Nov
'09
11:18 p.m.
You are a sophisticated and expressive composer. You could post the
lyrics/melody somewhere, perhaps someone on the list could sing them for
you?
You get a decent tone from your recorder. It has a plastic tone to me,
though. Is it plastic? Makes me wonder how it would sound on a wooden
instrument.
Oleg Ivanenko wrote:
Stephen, you are felt this piece very precisely.
I'm very glad to read
about your feelings. I had not expected this yet. So, I had succeed.
"I Flying" born as song. I made a lyrics for it and even tried to sing
it but without success :( I'm not a singer unfortunately. Properly, I
can sing more simple songs but not this one. More songs from me at
ftp://freemusic-project.ru/Ash/ I should warn all songs very different
-- I hate similarity.
You absolutely right about The Eagles and Hotel California :))) I
notice it too at early stages of creation and try to mask it. Sequence
of chords(especially at the beginning of piece) very similar but tune
completely different.
And, You know, I have bad eyesight too :)
2009/11/2 Stephen Stubbs <theother1510(a)sbcglobal.net>et>:
--
David
gnome(a)hawaii.rr.com
authenticity, honesty, community
________________________________
Hi, all!
I've recently finished long-awaited(for me) instrumental composition
(http://www.archive.org/download/IFlying/Ash_Ya_Lechu_I_Flying_986.mp3)
and need your opinions about it. If you please, tell me about my
composition/arrangement/performance/mastering etc mistakes. Sorry for
my English :)
Hello Oleg. Your English is excellent.
I've been listening to this piece over and over; that's not something that I
usually do. "I Flying" is saying something, but I haven't yet figured out
what it is saying. A very complex composition. Congratulations, Well Done!
I think it's important to know a little background about the person
reviewing your work, so that you know what their biases are.
I'm a vocalist, coming from bass cleff, brass instrument school training
(baritone, trombone, and tuba.) As a vocalist, I focus entirely on the
words. As an ex-bass cleff brass player, my next focus is on the counter
melody. My final focus is on the melody. I'm also sound oriented rather
than visual oriented (I have bad eyesight.)
There's another follower of this list who is most definitely visually
oriented. I hope he will listen to this piece and give us his visual
interpretation of the work. For now, here's my sound interpretation:
The feel of this piece first had me thinking of Hotel California by The
Eagles. Then it started moving into a feel of Stairway to Heaven by Led
Zepplin. Then it shifted into something completely different, with the
ending coming as a total surprise to me with that final guitar 'scream'.
(One of the best reproductions of a human scream done with a guitar that
I've ever heard.)
As for the recorder in the piece, leave it in. It sets a feeling that the
guitar picks up and elaborates on. I like the dialog between guitar and
bass guitar, with the bass guitar picking up the feeling from the guitar at
around 1:22.
The guitar shifts into its own 'intense' feeling at 1:40. At 2:33 the
recorder tries to regain control and calmness. But to no avail, as the
guitar reasserts itself at 3:00 and then proceeds to take listener by the
heart and jump off a cliff!
As I said, 'I Flying' is telling a story--saying something. I wasn't
exactly sure when I first heard it what the message was. But there is no
question its message is something with very strong emotional impact. Your
later comments about how your life had recently had sorrow in it is giving
me clue.
Please post more of your work. Thank you,
Stephen